The Dark Goddess

The Dark Goddess.. who is she? What does she represent? Why is she so important? These are some of the questions I am exploring while writing the Chapter on Initiation. Initiation is an event or process that one goes through, faces the darker aspects of being human and comes out not only alive but transformed.

Historically, cultures around the world have held (and still hold) very specific initiations to mark the turning points of life: menstruation, becoming a man, learning the art of shamanic practices. In some sense, our culture has lost this art of marking time, relegating the coming of menses to how to use tampons; celebrating pregnancy by giving gifts for the baby; throwing a party for the graduate. These are all profound moments in our lives and celebration is wonderful and to see them as passage and crossing over is key. But what about the times in our life when things are the hardest? The times when we must really face our mortality through death, illness or loss? Having spent so many years in India where the dead are burned in front of you, everyone watching as the body melts, burns, scorches into smoldering ash in a matter of hours, the smell singing the hairs inside your nose, you are not only reminded that yes, we all die; you are faced with it, confronted with it. India is rife with this reality, these images of what I am calling the dark mother: the immense poverty, lack of clean water, suffering and chaos. These are very real aspects of our world and when we begin to see that, recognize it, face it, then if we are open, a seed of compassion may be planted in our hearts. A process of transformation can begin, one that instead of running from pain and fear, allows us to move through it better, with grace, with faith. These hard bits in life, then, are an initiation and by going though it, vivifies life, reminding us that we are a temporal being!

All of us have experienced some kind of initiation: illness; death of a loved one; giving birth; losing a home, a job, a friend; dealt with depression or alcoholism. Yet in the West, our community often does not know how to honor that process. We over medicate, place a lot of guilt and shame around the issue, as if we are the cause for the illness, our emotions are not clear enough, we didn't eat the right foods or drink the right water. It is hard for us to accept these events, let alone go into them as deeply as an initiate might, to strip away the layers of our attachments, which then allow us to be reborn.

As the Goddess is reclaimed these days and weeks and years, we can use her wisdom as a guide to navigate the dark halls of the soul during hard times. We can recognize that, like the darkened new moon, these rough times are also times of fallow, of laying rest, of being quiet, of hibernating in the warmth of our deepest despair, letting the grief rise. If we try to suppress that, push it away, blame others, or ourselves, we cannot go fully through the process, thus becoming even more depressed or ill.

I am currently decoding the myth of Inanna's Descent, her descent into the Underworld, to meet her Shadow Half, the Dark Mother Ereshkigal. Ereshkigal is the epitome of suppression: she is birthing, writhing, pooping, moaning and groaning. She is all the very physical parts of ourselves that are suffering and, really, dying. As Inanna, the great Sumerian Queen of Heaven, descends into this dank, filthy, murky Netherworld, she is facing her dark half, the parts of her that her conscious mind refuses to normally acknowledge. Ereshkigal responds to her arrival by having her stripped bare, then hanging her on a hook, in a sense, crucifying her, for three days. Inanna's friend Ninshubur, who she has left above must call for help using the sacred drum, call on Enki, the god of culture to help Inanna rise up from these depths of darkness, born anew, and carrying with her the gifts of the Underworld.

So, too we can call for help. We can ask our family or friends, our entrusted helpers on this journey to aid us in our rebirth from darkness. If we have gone through a hard time, we can consciously revisit that time and send it love and healing, to begin the process of re-membering a self that has been fragmented. In this way we are honoring the initiatory process that we have experienced, but in a deeper sense that allows healing to occur and gifts to be born. Because the irony is that the darker and deeper the pain, the more powerful the gifts will be.

When I gave birth to my little daughter, Rubybleu, who then died a few days later, it was hell for a long time. I didn't sleep at all for a year, my arms ached, I was lost, very lost. I would sit on our balcony in our apartment in Kathmandu, Nepal and watch an old woman, all in black, cutting the grass with a scythe. She was my Dark Goddess, the goddess of death and endings, cutting the grass so that it could be reborn. She was old and stooped, wrinkled and gnarled; yet her eyes shone brilliant and as I made my way through that time of despair, I was initiated. I brought back the gift of helping women who have lost babies; of giving funds to support girls in India; helping Dr. Sarita develop her clinic in Nepal; running a fantastic guesthouse in South India, called Rubybleu House; giving birth later to dear Yoko Mojave Lotus...the list goes on.

Like Inanna, we too can face the dark, bring back the gifts of the Underworld to share with our conscious mind. We can witness Ereshkigal's violent pain in ourselves and honor her by bringing aspects of her back up into the light. We can embrace this time of laying fallow, of not being so abundant, so productive, so furiously producing, but instead know that the quiet will give way to new light, new life. We can empower ourselves to use the dark, to dance the wildness within that can handle these hard times. We can call on the Dark Mother in all her forms: Kali Ma, the Black Madonna, Green Tara, Ereshkigal, Hecate, Persephone. We can think of our grandmothers, growing old and tired, honor their stories and their wisdom. We can more gracefully accept our aging, knowing that our bodies are sinking back into the earth, back into the soil and darkness that nourishes the life.

Last year I attended a shamanic workshop where we spent time in the nature, working directly with the spirits of the land, trees, wind, and ocean. As I sat with a particular plant, I observed the sprawling shrub like qualities of the plant. I also noticed that just as much of the bush was dead as it was alive. Lifeless branches and dead leaves lay intertwined with the glowing green live ones, nestled together. I heard the message, "The dead nourish the living," and have carried that in my heart. We are alive because so much has passed away before us. We have wisdom because of all of those who have come and gone from this earth. We must remember...remember the Dark Goddess, remember our ancestors, remember that we are alive, very much so, but for such a short time...let the darkness remind us!

Some of your Feedback

I received some interesting feedback to my rant yesterday. Just to clarify, I again, have no idea (like the rest of us) as to what those 'Venuses' mean. Who knows? Perhaps they are simply sex symbols, not much else; maybe they were little dolls; or little chatchkeys one might receive when visiting a famous cave? I still like to imagine women making them, though, that's what feels right. But as one friend wrote to me:

Your research topic is an intensely interesting one. It's possible that the figurines are pornographic (the pornographic iconography of our times will also perhaps intrigue people in the future). I hope not. But if it were somehow proved that the figurines indeed were representations of female exploitation? Does that invalidate a woman's right to power? Let them try that argument on me. The cat's well out of the box now.

As a feminist and a strong one, I feel almost as if the debate is over. Yeah, it would be nice to have a feminist heritage of power... but so what if there isn't one. The point is now. What we can do now. What we are now. If providing a strong, vibrant feminist history will empower more woman..... this is great. But if we are not totally righteous in our research, upon which deception will our power be based? And if we allow some of our research to be invalidated, it can lead to ALL of the research being invalidated.

If the foundations are not stable, we will all have to keep holding up the walls - because people will keep rocking them.

Obviously it's extremely important to research female history. This is a serious and worrying gap in our knowledge of the whole of humanity. Ultimately every interpretation you arrive at will be a deception. And we are self-deceivers by nature. What we see is not what is. We are imperfect in our judgment and prone to huge errors and judgments. Any judgment must always be preceded with the invalidation of the judge..... then we can see it's neither truth or judgment.

So the point comes to this.... there is no truth, it's just the mirages made from colliding self-interest.... then how does one create a truth, and should we, and what is the point? The point is to create a truth that will benefit all. And the only truth that can benefit all is one that's found by approaching the exploration with an empty rice bowl, clean of our own interests, assumptions and experiences.

--Lucy Baldwin
www.shutterstock.com/results.mhtml#gallery_id=304441&sort_method=popular

I believe she has some great points here. I don't agree that the debate is over, but I passionately do agree that what we do NOW is what is crucial, that approaching the exploration with an empty rice bowl is incredibly important; that and benefiting others. A great reminder!

Other friends wrote:

--"I love how everyone will create their own back stories about the discovery. I see a pregnant woman sitting in the cave wearing the carving as many woman before her did but none after."

--"I saw that NYTimes article the other day, too, and was struck by the journalist's misleading and specious read of the figure and its symbolism - which gives us a great deal more insight into the media's relationship with sex and drumming up reader traffic with sensationalized headlines."

--"You helped me understand the deep significance of the find and the way its coverage/interpretation reflects the mighty schism in our world. What a huge loss for us all, as we know. What a huge chance for reintegration and healing, for re-sacralizing the Divine Feminine. I hope this fuels your writing. We need it!"

I appreciate any and all feedback. It's true my rant was a bit reactionary, but then, sometimes we need to stir up the stuff that's presented to us. To make sense of it, look at it from every angle, find out who we are...where we came from. Perhaps we'll never know why ancient humans made figurines of large, rotund women with decorated vaginas, but it's still fascinating to wonder...

Ancient Feminine Figurine

The Earliest Pornography?

Obsession with Naked Women Dates Back 35,000 Years

These are the two of the headlines on the internet announcing the extraordinary discovery of a so-called 'Venus' figurine dating back to 35,000 years ago. Since I am currently up to my nose in research on the Goddess, this certainly fueled two of my fires:

1) That the artistic representation of the Feminine is that old is astonishing to say the least! Previously, nothing besides images of animals have been discovered in that time of human prehistory. According to an article, that actually does not sensationalize the find, from Science Daily online:


The new figurine from Hohle Fels radically changes our view of origins of Paleolithic art. Prior to this discovery, animals and therianthropic imagry dominated the over two dozen figurines from the Swabian Aurignacian. Female imagry was entirely unknown. With this discovery, the notion that three dimensional female imagry developed in the Gravettian can be rejected. Also the interpretations suggesting that strong, aggressive animals or shamanic depictions dominate the Aurignacian art of Swabia, or even Europe as a whole, need to be reconsidered.

This figurine is a good 14,000 years older than the now well known Venus of Willendorf which is dated 22--24,000 years old. As several archaeologists have pointed out, we cannot really draw conclusions across such a span of time, as humans and their cultural orientation would be very different. However, the fact that early humans felt the desire to form images from, in this case, mammoth bone, of a rotund female form is both fascinating and for me, very moving.

What is less moving, and indeed a bit maddening are the immediate interpretations presented by the various archaeologists and anthropologists. As indicated in the headlines listed above, they are jumping to some very specific conclusions which leads me to discuss fire number two.

2) Certainly the incredible detail given to the 'genitals' as they like to say, or vagina, and breasts draws the attention to these parts of the body first. To assume this is "sexually explicit," "pornographic" and as one anthropologist states: "If there's one conclusion you want to draw from this, it's that an obsession with sex goes back at least 35,000 years."

But is that really the conclusion we can draw from this figurine? It definitely seems to be a contemporary view of a very ancient figure. What if, for example, the archaeologist had discovered a masculine image with a giant phallus that was decorated with interesting lines and symbols, as in the case of this figurine? Certainly they might also mention the words 'sexually explicit' but I have little doubt in my mind that other words said would be 'power' and 'shamanic symbolism.' I highly doubt they would say 'earliest pornography!' I don't want to rant, but I do want to point out that based on the scientist assumptions, they are saying that because the image is female, with a decorated yoni and prominent breasts, she is therefore pornographic! What if, instead, these enhanced parts of the body were indeed meant to represent POWER? What if this sculpture was formed by a woman? What if the Divinity worshiped at that time was indeed feminine, would the artist not want to render the incredible life giving power of the woman, to grow life, nurture the children? What does that reveal about people today when we assume, because she is a naked female form, that she is pornographic?

Another aspect of this figurine is that it seems it was a pendant, to be hung around the neck. If we are going to observe this figurine with modern eyes as so many of the scientists seem to be doing, then lets look around us. What man do you know wears a pendant of a female that illustrates prominent breasts and a decorated yoni? Well, Donald Trump perhaps, but most men I know who choose pendants choose ones that are images of power and divinity for them such as a cross, shark's tooth, an Om. And women too, wearing perhaps an ankh, a dove or round crystal. When I imagine the wearer of this incredible figurine, I imagine a woman who has formed an image of the Divine for herself; an image of power, power to conceive, give birth, nourish and feed children. All powers that are clearly illustrated in a oversized, gorgeous vagina and prominent breasts. All powers that perhaps, passed down the lineage of women were explored as shamanic practices in later ages.

Although I may be completely wrong, I had to put these ideas out there as another option to the mainstream notion of the feminine image. Other authors, thankfully have explored these ideas in great detail including Marija Gimbutas, Merlin Stone, Layne Redmond, Monica Sjoo, Barbara Mor and the authors of the incredible new book: The Invisible Sex: Uncovering the True Roles of Women in Prehistory (by J.M Adovasio, Olga Soffer and Jake Page) which gives a very clear glimpse into how woman has evolved both with and alongside men, as opposed to 'man the hunter.'

Perhaps we'll never know the true meaning of these figurines, but for me they remain a powerful image of the sacred feminine. When I see women wearing images of women, I know that we know our power, that indeed we are reclaiming Her continuously. When I look at this image, I imagine the hands that formed those breasts, that put thought and care into creating such a work of beauty and power. I imagine a time when women and the feminine indeed was venerated, honored and admired to such an extent that those were the primary images created for thousands and thousands of years. I recall the image of the Dakini, the dancing Yogini whose labia clearly hang down in both contemporary sculptures and ones so much more recent than the Venuses (4th--5th century CE) and know that these indeed are images of Power and that they remind us to dance the Dance of the Sacred Feminine.


http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/05/090514084126.htm

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/obsessionwithnakedwomendatesback35000years;_ylt=AlyHhjgRfBRzoJk0Jhf2YX3lWMcF

http://sciencenow.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/2009/513/1?rss=1

Entering the Goddess Weave

Today I will sign a contract for my next book...on the Goddess. An exploration of the Sacred Feminine, the Divinity of Woman. This is both an extensive subject and still a relatively new subject (in the course of history of man over the last few thousand years). It is webby and complex, dark and mysterious, full of Power and intrigue, just as the Goddess herself. No doubt this book writing process is a journey, a journey into my Self as woman, my path to reclaim personal Power and the Sacred Feminine, a story of becoming more whole, uniting all the aspects of Woman: mother, warrioress, artist, storyteller, consort, nymphette, weaver and crone.

I have recently joined a fluctuating group of women who are working with the Magick of Isis to become High Priestesses. In this circle is a fascinating weave of various traditions: Yogic, Egyptian, Mary Magdalene, Wicca and Hawaiian. This is an intregal aspect of being both with all women and in the West, the chance to take what works for us, reshape, reinvent and reweave something new and present and reconnected with the land, the Goddess, the Sacred Feminine. Since so much of the lineage and traditions of women's sacred medicine and Power was lost or deeply buried during the centuries of patriarchal determined domination, we are at a cutting edge moment in time when the reclaiming of the Feminine is not only now allowed and supported but desperately needed.

I have often said, and now find echoed in the books on the Sacred Feminine that I am researching, "All religions have been written down by men, for men." And its true. We can't escape that. So even though any human can find inspiration, guidance, meditations, practices, and wisdom in each tradition, they are all male directed. Which of course is an important part of the reclaiming too, to bring men into their own Feminine self, to have humans find that balance that is key to each of us.

Still, women work differently, there is no doubt, and, perhaps have an entirely alternative way of working with Power. And I mean Power in the sense of empowerment, of fully living in a connected and open way, not power over another or domination. When I drum, pass Reiki healings and attunements, write, care for my child, swim in the ocean, dance and cook I feel a sense of Power, connectedness with performing these actions in a sense of being here now. Power enables us to recognize we are multidimensional selves, not really bound by gender, yet we must still recognize the opportunity to express the Sacred in whichever form we are in.

The woman, the feminine has been completely oppressed and dominated for thousands of years. When we think about how the Adam and Eve myth is the basis for much of our cultural thought and expression, we can see how strange it is. God made man in his image by blowing his breath into dust. Then God put Adam to sleep and pulled woman out of his rib? Peculiar to say the least. Infuriating and maddening to say more! When I look at the male and female banana trees, do I think, "Hmm, well, one produces the bananas, this obviously comes from the God, the Divine...the other only flowers, definitely not as worthy." How absurd! They are both one and the same, expressing the Divine in different ways. Funnily, the female is the one that produces the bananas. And the female is the one that makes babies. How on Earth did we decide that this was a lesser activity? Imagine, as Zsusana Budapest suggests, if women decided to put a moratorium on having babies? How would the world, the world, as until very recently shaped by men, react to this. No babies for five years. A missing generation. A chance to reconnect with the Sacred Feminine. It would give our overly used planet a rest too!

There is a lot more to explore here, and thus the beginning point of my book. And indeed I feel as if I have descended into the Chaos of the Goddess. The image of the multiarmed Durga keeps coming to mind as I navigate writing, working, cooking, mothering, cleaning, dancing and sharing. This is something so unique in women, so profound, this ability to keep many fires going at once, in an almost seemingly effortless dance with their lives, their children, their husbands and partners, their work, their passions. I am excited, thrilled to explore this incredible portrayal of the Divine and look forward, like Tutu Pele, in search of new ground.

May the Goddess be with you...

Obama!

Inauguration

This morning a few of us Hawai'i folks huddled around the television to watch Barack Obama, our truly international leader, take the stand as our new President. Amidst sighs, tears and claps of joy we listened closely to his inspiring words which were delivered with such poise, elegance, firmness and truth. We can hope and pray that he really does have the courage to follow his heart, which seems to be clearly pointed in the right direction with the people's best interests held close.

Obama comes from the place where I am now dwelling, Hawai'i, which is an incredibly diverse place, one that is probably the least like America anywhere else that is considered the United States. Here, in Hawai'i councils are held constantly to make decisions with the people, by the people, for the people. It is democracy in the truest sense of the word and has had to work with layers of diversity of local, native peoples, new immigrants from all over the world and mainlanders who come to lay claim to the youngest state. All of these varied people have to learn to get along constantly on islands, the largest one being the size of Connecticut, Hawai'i, known as the Big Island.

This man Obama, has so many other have already said, really is an international symbol, with a Kenyan father, a mother below the poverty line, a Muslim name, a childhood in Indonesia and Hawai'i...he is really a true representation of America: diverse, multicultural, beyond the labels and isms that constantly seek to divide human beings. He is certainly an inspiration as the throngs of people who braved the cold to see him speak, hear his words, wave flags show. As he steps into the world now, as the new face of America, as the leader of our intensely wonderful, complicated, changeable country, we can all look to ourselves to align our pritorities in the very direction he points: one of hard work, honesty and integrity. To take responsiblity for ourselves. That he is not going to make the change for us, that, indeed, we will make the change ourselves.

Lets see what happens!

Winter Solstice

Yesterday was our annual Winter Solstice Celebration, to honor the return of light from dark. Since we are still living in the tropics, we do a daytime ritual to celebrate the light of the New Year. This year we were blessed with an incredible group of people who were enthused to participate and play the roles of: High Priestess, Goddesses of the Elements and Directions, a lively Sun King and Leon and I as Earth Mother and Sky Father.







After we called in the sacred space, awoke the High Priestess as Goddess and summoned our Sun King with songs and music, we each took a turn through the ritual process of cleansing and rebirth. One by one, each person took a turn at the fire with the Goddess of the South to write down what we wanted to let go of. Then we walked through the passage of flowers to the palm frond cave where we chose a seed and set our intention for the new year, honored by the Goddess of the North. Finally, each person returned to the circle to be washed anew by by the Goddess of the West and her attending Water Fairies, reentered the circle, embraced by the High Priestess and given as small token of power.

Then we closed our gorgeous, magical circle, thanking the directions and the elements, the dear Earth Mother Panchamama and Father Sky. We feasted all afternoon in the gorgeous Hawaiian sun, a true blessing during these rainy Puna winter days. Happy Solstice to all!

Inka Blessing

In Hawai'i, I am finding that we are exposed to a variety of teachers and masters who come through to give offerings to Pele of Hawai'i and share their wisdom with locals and guests alike. This past weekend I received a wonderful healing and blessing from two Inkan Master Healers in the south district of Ka'u on the Big Island, Hawai'i.

I drove down with a friend and Yoko, leaving the lush, humid Puna coast, climbing up Kilauea mountain where the active volcano is continuously pouring lava out onto the mountain, down the slopes into the sea. This island is famous for its micro climates and it really is stunning how you can flow from wet to dry, lush to desolate, ocean to mountaintop in a matter of minutes.

We stopped at Punalu'u beach where sea turtles, or Honu, make their home munching endlessly on the tasty seaweed that grows on black lava rocks. The black sand is hot and clings to your skin here, shining in the sun as the locals swim in the freezing cold Pacific indigo water, counting turles. Yoko hopped around amongst yellow sea butterflies, digging trails in the sand. Seeing the massive turtles pull themselves up onto the beach is amazing to me, even if it is commonplace for Hawai'i!

Anyway, we arrived in at the orchards where the ceremony was held, a despacho or offering, made to Mother Earth known as Panchamama by these extraordinary Master Healers. They came from the Andes mountains in Peru, brought by their faithful student who resides in Hawai'i, to share their knowledge with others and co-mingle spiritual energy with Hawai'i. The couple, who have been together for over fifty years, practicing healing and spiritual work, hail from the Q'ero Nation of Peru, some of the last pure descendants of the Inkan people. Their village is only 400 people and we were told that these two, who must be in their 70s, are of the last of the elders still living!

Indeed, I felt very blessed to be a part of the ceremony. We were given cocoa leaves while the couple built a beautiful mandala-like offering with flowers, candles, seeds, leaves, grain and candies, blowing their spirit breath continously into the offerings. Several pairs of red and white objects were laid into the despacho, the red symbolizing Mother Earth, Panchamama and her Spirit and the white symbolizing the Masculine, male spirits of the Mountains. They were assisted by two Hawai'ians, one woman and one man, effectively weaving the traditional flowers of this place and the colors of the two countries flags together. This was moving, to say the least. After we blew our own dedication to Mother Earth into the cocoa leaves, we gave them to the Healers to put in the offering. We were then given maize to blow our desires or wishes and put them ourselves into the despacho, alongside two crisp hundred dollar bills. Practical wishes of business going well, along with the spiritual, amused me and seemed just right!

Finally, after an hour or more of this, with lots of breath and connectedness, the despacho was filled. Yoko had fallen completely asleep and I carried her to the fire that was made to receive the offering. As it was thrown in and burning, our circle of people, mostly from Ka'u, I suppose, and the Peruvian couple hugged one another other in joy. He played the flute and the Hawai'ian man played the conch shell as we let our offering sing itself back to Mother Earth.

The next morning I was fortunate enough to receive a personal healing from the Peruvians which involved a lot of blowing, chanting and clacking of bone-like medicine objects. I felt incredibly cleansed and revitalized by the experience, as if my Power was reclaimed and I was brought back into the middle of myself. I did a small drawing of what I saw during the experience, giving the healing a vision of beauty and power.

I am so thankful to be living in this incredibly rich, interesting place, a place abundant with beautiful nature and wondrous people drifting onto and off this magical island. If you want to know more about these lovely Peruvians and their work, please visit
http://www.inka-online.com/

Aloha...